Before I get into the substance of this blog, I want to throw out my usual disclaimer: I am not a trained therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist, mentalist, etc. These suggestions come from observing my clients, there is no legal bases for any of these observations, its just my own personal thoughts and perhaps some recommendations.  

Usually the hardest part of a Utah divorce is the affect the divorce has on your children. There is an ongoing debate as to whether it is better for the kids for the parents to just stick it out, or whether the children are better off if their parents just get a divorce. In my personal experience, it seems that most of the people I represent in divorce cases have minor children. Although I have had more than a few clients wait until their children leave the home before they go through with the divorce. 

Again, the theories vary depending on who you ask, but I think whether or not the divorce is appropriate really depends on the specific situation. In my non-clinical experience, kids are better off if their parents get along, Whether they separate and get along or stay together and get along, the kids are better off. In other words, if the options are stay together and fight all the time, or separate and play nice, separation might be better. But if you are able to stay together and be civil, and even kind to each other, that is probably the better situation. But for the purposes of this blog, we're going to assume that the parties have divorced/separated.

Social media affects nearly every aspect of the world we live in. No matter where you are someone has a smart phone, and therefore a way to post your most embarrassing moments online within seconds of the occurrence. If you walked into the ocean while texting, you’ll be trending online within seconds.

The unfortunate part of social media is it doesn’t accept explanations. If the only reason you are holding the pipe is to lecture the youth of america about the evils of drug use, and as soon as your lecture is complete you're going to incinerate the contraband in a ten-million degree oven, and once that's complete you are going to wash yourself in bleach in order to ensure that there is no trace of pipe molecule on you, the picture of you holding the pipe is not likely to illustrate any of this, and their goes your unblemished standing in the community.

As with most things, there is an easy way and a hard way to do a Utah divorce. The easy way? Get an uncontested divorce. The hard way? Get a contested divorce, or do the divorce yourself and pay way more attorney fees to fix it then it would have cost to get it right the first time. In this entry I'm going to talk about uncontested divorces, and offer suggestions on how to approach it. Keep in mind, I'm not a counselor or therapist, these are just things I've learned from watching my divorce clients over the years.

My air-conditioner went out a couple weeks ago. In the past I've been able to replace the filters and turn it off for a few hours and it would work just fine. So I tried both things, it still didn't work. I found an article (more like a paragraph) online that told me to get inside the vents with a vacuum and clean it out that way, I tried it, I got VERY dirty but it still didn't fix the problem. Another paragraph online suggested I take apart the outside unit and clean everything, then put it back together. I tried. I did really good at the taking it apart step, and I think I did a pretty good job cleaning the parts, its the "put it back together" step that I struggled with. Ultimately I had an expert come out, turns out the capacitor was bad (no not the flux capacitor from the DeLorean time machine from "Back to the Future", I asked). It cost about $50 to replace. Putting everything that I pulled apart back together correctly cost me another $250. The moral of the story? There is a reason professional A/C guys exist. They have the knowledge, the right tools, and generally can perform necessary A/C tasks efficiently. The same goes for experienced Utah divorce attorneys.

There is no such thing as "grandparent rights" unless a Utah State Court awards said rights. In other words, unlike parents, grandparents do not have natural rights to a child, and the only way to get any rights is through court intervention.

In July of 2013, the Utah Supreme Court severely limited a grandparent's right to visitation in its Jones vs. Jones decision. Prior to the Jones case grandparents could petition a court and often get visitation by showing one of the following:

• the petitioner is a fit and proper person to have visitation with the grandchild;
• visitation with the grandchild has been denied or unreasonably limited;
• the parent is unfit or incompetent;
• the petitioner has acted as the grandchild's custodian or caregiver, or otherwise has had a substantial relationship with the grandchild, and the loss or cessation of that relationship is likely to cause harm to the grandchild;
• the petitioner's child, who is a parent of the grandchild, has died, or has become a noncustodial parent through divorce or legal separation;
• the petitioner's child, who is a parent of the grandchild, has been missing for an extended period of time; or
• visitation is in the best interest of the grandchild.

If you file bankruptcy before the eviction goes through, or in other words the court has not yet ordered that you vacate the premises, then a bankruptcy can and will buy you more time, or possibly even allow you to stay, depending on which chapter you file.

If you are served with an eviction notice and you file a Chapter 7 Utah Bankruptcy then the automatic stay will prohibit your landlord from evicting you, at least temporarily. At that point your landlord has a couple options, he can either work with you and allow you to stay, wait until your bankruptcy case is closed and then resume eviction proceedings (unless you've gotten current on your rent in the meantime), or he can file a Motion to lift the Stay with the court. 

Most courts will lift the stay unless you can show a good reason for why the stay should not be lifted. So if your landlord does go with option number three, then the chapter 7 Utah bankruptcy doesn't do much as to avoiding eviction, other than buy you a little bit of time. 

So you all know how it works, your bank or other creditors sell your debt to a collection agency for pennies. The collection agency does everything to settle the debt because as long as they get something, they're making money. Collection agencies make more money off default judgments than anything, and if the debt is a minimal amount, people will generally just pay it, whether they actually owe it or not.

A default judgment is when a court gives a judgment by, you guessed it, default. Typically this occurs when a party does not answer a complaint, or at some point they simply ignore the law suit. Once it becomes apparent that a party is not responding to pleadings or taking any steps to defend himself/herself, the court can simply grant a judgment in favor of the opposing party, and give them anything they asked for. With a judgment, the prevailing party can garnish wages, garnish bank accounts, force a sheriff's sale of personal property, etc. Collection agencies probably resolve most of their cases by getting a default judgment against debtors.

Forum shopping is a term used when a party is trying to find a forum, or court, that is beneficial to them in some way. Some cases (generally not family law) can be filed in either federal or state court, and sometimes parties can choose which state to file in.

Typically one state has jurisdiction in a divorce. The obvious reason is both parties usually live together in the same state, so that state has jurisdiction over both parties. However, there are instances where a couple separates, one moves out of state, and then they file for divorce. In that scenario it is possible that either party can file for divorce in the state in which they are residing. The non-filing spouse can object to the forum, and attempt to convince the court that their home state is a more convenient forum.

I often get people in my office that received a judgment for divorce in a state other than Utah, but now they live in Utah and want to enforce the decree. There are several determinations that need to be made before a Utah court will enforce a "foreign" divorce decree.

If there are no minor children involved in the divorce then it is generally a much easier process to determine if Utah has jurisdiction, or the ability to enforce your divorce decree. If your decree was entered in another state but you moved to Utah, you can file the foreign judgment in a Utah divorce court and notify the other party that the judgment has been filed with a Utah court. Your ex-spouse can object to the filing, but he or she would have to show good cause as to why the judgment should not be recognized and enforced by a Utah divorce court. Generally as long as one of the parties is a resident of Utah, the court will adopt and enforce the foreign judgment.  

The title may be misleading because, well, there are no rules. However, Utah divorce courts like to see cooperation and good behavior when making rulings down the road so it is a good idea to act civil even before the court gets involved in a Utah divorce, and keep a few things in mind. 

The general rule for child custody and visitation is whichever parent has the children has the power. Typically, no law enforcement officer is going to take the children away from mom to give them to dad, or vice-versa. There is some variation depending on the particular law enforcement officer at the scene, but most if not all will tell you its a civil matter and suggest you get an attorney. They have no authority to forcibly remove a child from a parent without a court order, even to give the child to the other parent.