Abandonment
Divorce/separation clients often ask me if the court considers moving out of their home abandonment. The short answer is no. In almost every divorce case someone moves out. Obviously it would be very difficult to live together when you and your spouse are going through a divorce. So the court does expect that someone will move out, and it generally won't hold that against you. HOWEVER, often times if there is a dispute as to who gets to stay in the house for the pendency of the action, or even permanently, the court may lean towards the status quo, ie, whoever is in the house should stay there because it's already been done. So if you are looking to stay in the house through the divorce process and after, you might not want to voluntarily move out, and instead wait for the court to determine who should go and who should stay. So while it's not considered abandonment, there are drawbacks.
In order for a court to find "abandonment" a party must literally abandon his/her family. Typically months if not years have to pass with no contact or support. A court must find that the offending party has no interest or ability to be involved in his wife and/or kids lives. In this scenario a court can terminate parental rights and obligations or even terminate parental rights but the abandoning party would still be subject to domestic support, such as child support or alimony.
In order for a court to find "abandonment" a party must literally abandon his/her family. Typically months if not years have to pass with no contact or support. A court must find that the offending party has no interest or ability to be involved in his wife and/or kids lives. In this scenario a court can terminate parental rights and obligations or even terminate parental rights but the abandoning party would still be subject to domestic support, such as child support or alimony.
Alienation of Children
Alienation You're getting a divorce, your spouse blames you and has told the children that is it all your fault. The court orders that you get standard visitation but when you go to pick up your kids they refuse to go and your spouse says that he/she won't make them, it's their decision. Whenever you call to talk to your kids your spouse answers and yells at you on the phone, blaming you for everything, right in front of the kids.
I'll start with my usual disclaimer that I am not a therapist or medical/mental professional. Any suggestions made stem from my observations of clients and I have no clinical background whatsoever. Having said that, it is important that parents recognize that alienation of children does no one any good, especially the children. Numerous studies have shown that children are much better off when both parents are involved in their lives. And alienating a child from his/her parent will only harm them in the long run. Often times, probably most times, alienation is unintentional and a parent might not even realize he/she is doing it. This is why it is important to pay very specific attention to how you talk about your spouse or to your spouse in front of the children, and pay particular attention to your children and how they are acting and treating your ex. This is a situation where you must make a conscious effort to put your kids' needs before your own. Even if you are livid with your spouse, for your kids sake keep it to yourself, and try to avoid fighting with your spouse in front of the kids.
Hopefully your attorney will be able to counsel you in this regard as well, but ultimately it is up to you to ensure, for their sake, that your children have a good relationship with your spouse. Encourage this relationship and encourage them to spend time with your spouse. Again, they will be much better off in the end if you do so.
This blog is specifically directed to situations in which a parent has been alienated. Obviously if there is good reason as to why a relationship should not be developed, such as abuse or other criminal activity, then it would not be a good idea to encourage that relationship.
I'll start with my usual disclaimer that I am not a therapist or medical/mental professional. Any suggestions made stem from my observations of clients and I have no clinical background whatsoever. Having said that, it is important that parents recognize that alienation of children does no one any good, especially the children. Numerous studies have shown that children are much better off when both parents are involved in their lives. And alienating a child from his/her parent will only harm them in the long run. Often times, probably most times, alienation is unintentional and a parent might not even realize he/she is doing it. This is why it is important to pay very specific attention to how you talk about your spouse or to your spouse in front of the children, and pay particular attention to your children and how they are acting and treating your ex. This is a situation where you must make a conscious effort to put your kids' needs before your own. Even if you are livid with your spouse, for your kids sake keep it to yourself, and try to avoid fighting with your spouse in front of the kids.
Hopefully your attorney will be able to counsel you in this regard as well, but ultimately it is up to you to ensure, for their sake, that your children have a good relationship with your spouse. Encourage this relationship and encourage them to spend time with your spouse. Again, they will be much better off in the end if you do so.
This blog is specifically directed to situations in which a parent has been alienated. Obviously if there is good reason as to why a relationship should not be developed, such as abuse or other criminal activity, then it would not be a good idea to encourage that relationship.
Intervention
Intervene before it's too late If you feel like you are being alienated from your children because of your spouses behavior towards you, you want to intervene as quickly as possible before it becomes even a bigger issue. If you are able to get help from a family therapist then great, if that is not an option you may need to get the court involved. Keep meticulous track of incidents, and keep any phone conversations, emails, or texts that show your spouses behavior that is encouraging the alienation. The court won't be able to fix the problem on its own, but it can order that such behavior cease and even order therapy of some kind. Typically if a court sees poor behavior from a parent that is adversely affecting the children, it will do something about it. But no one can help you if you don't take steps to fix the situation.
If you feel like you are being alienated from your children, call Pearson Law Firm for a free consultation with an divorce attorney that has experience in alienation issues. Your attorney can help you determine the best course of action to take, and if its necessary to get the court involved. Don't hesitate to call, 801-888-0991.
If you feel like you are being alienated from your children, call Pearson Law Firm for a free consultation with an divorce attorney that has experience in alienation issues. Your attorney can help you determine the best course of action to take, and if its necessary to get the court involved. Don't hesitate to call, 801-888-0991.
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