This time of year can be difficult for divorcees, especially if it is your first holiday since the divorce went through. The first time spending a holiday without your kids, or missing out on a family tradition, can be hard. However, there are some things you can do to help you make the adjustment a little easier, and help ensure that things run a little smoother during the holidays.
Clear Language in your Decree of Divorce
If you want to make the holidays even harder, leave room in your decree of divorce for interpretation and "scheduling flexibility". If your decree is not clear as to who gets the kids and when during the holidays, you are just asking for trouble. During the divorce process it may be easier to just agree to cross certain bridges when you come to them, but that is in general a bad idea, and it especially so for visitation.
A well-worded divorce decree will articulate who gets the kids and when during the holidays. Usually it rotates every year so if you get the kinds on Thanksgiving one year your spouse will get them on Thanksgiving the following year. Often times parties just use the statutory recommendations, which essentially divide up the days for you.
Having clear language in your decree does not mean you and your ex can't orally agree to a different arrangement on any given year, but if there is a dispute, or you both want the kids on a certain day, you can refer back to the decree or statute and the problem will be solved for you.
So if you're in the middle of a divorce, make sure the custody/parent-time language is well-worded and clear. If you have a decree of divorce that allows too much flexibility and interpretation during the holidays, contact Pearson Law Firm for a free consultation with an experienced divorce attorney to help you explore your options. Call 801-888-0991.
Having clear language in your decree does not mean you and your ex can't orally agree to a different arrangement on any given year, but if there is a dispute, or you both want the kids on a certain day, you can refer back to the decree or statute and the problem will be solved for you.
So if you're in the middle of a divorce, make sure the custody/parent-time language is well-worded and clear. If you have a decree of divorce that allows too much flexibility and interpretation during the holidays, contact Pearson Law Firm for a free consultation with an experienced divorce attorney to help you explore your options. Call 801-888-0991.
Take Advantage of the Situation
That concludes the legal portion of this blog, the only other advice I have is based on my own personal experiences and observations. Obviously it will take some time to adjust to a holiday without your kids but you can make the most of it. Do something for yourself, spend some time alone, visit old friends, go to an adult party. Ya know, stuff like that. Take advantage of the time you don't have your kids, and when you do have them, celebrate with extra gusto. Different doesn't have to be less fun, find ways to celebrate, start new traditions. In the end it'll make the holidays much more fun and even fulfilling.
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