Time for divorce? You've talked to friends, you've gone to counseling, you've tried to make it work. But it's not working. Is this the time to pull the plug? Obviously only you can answer that question, but preparation can be the key to a "successful" divorce.
My definition of a successful divorce is one in which the parties are still somewhat civil with each other when its all said and done, and the children, if there are any, have a strong relationship with both parents. As explained in a previous blog, studies have shown that kids are MUCH better off if both parents are heavily involved in their lives. So what can you do to ensure a successful divorce? Well, as usual, there are no guarantees, but here are a few things I've seen that will certainly improve your chances.
My definition of a successful divorce is one in which the parties are still somewhat civil with each other when its all said and done, and the children, if there are any, have a strong relationship with both parents. As explained in a previous blog, studies have shown that kids are MUCH better off if both parents are heavily involved in their lives. So what can you do to ensure a successful divorce? Well, as usual, there are no guarantees, but here are a few things I've seen that will certainly improve your chances.
What are your options?
It is important that you understand your options when it comes to divorce. Do you qualify for an annulment? Is a legal separation a better option for you? Do you expect the divorce to be contested or uncontested? These are just some of the things to consider before taking the jump. By having an idea of what you want you'll know what steps need to be taken, and you'll be better able to approach your spouse with a plan at least tentaively in place. Which brings us to the next step.
Talk to your Spouse
Talk about your Utah Divorce More than likely your spouse will at least have an idea that its coming, but there are definitely scenarios where the spouse is blind sided. If you can, you probably want to avoid blind-siding your spouse. But if this is the situation you find yourself in, try not to just throw it in his or her face. Prepare yourself for his or her reaction, and if possible try to show some compassion. Don't immediately place blame, and try not to discuss details, instead maybe discuss the importance of both of you getting legal help in order to make this daunting process a little easier.
Get an Attorney
I’ve previously discussed whether or not you should hire an attorney for your divorce. My completely unbiased recommendation is yes, you do. . . maybe a little biased. But the fact is unless you have an incredibly simple, uncontested divorce, with no kids, no assets, no liabilities to divide, you probably need an attorney. And frankly there is a good chance you’ll want a divorce attorney even if it’s a simple divorce.
There is no doubt that a Utah divorce attorney is going to cost you, but in the end it is money well spent. And if you and your spouse both hire an experienced divorce attorney, chances are you’ll both come out ahead in the end. Its an investment, but well worth it.
Do your research, look at various attorneys, go to their webpages, make sure the content reflects the attorney's knowledge on the subject. I recommend www.pearsonlawfirm.org, it has a lot of great information for people looking into divorce. But no matter where you end up, make sure you are comfortable with your attorney and that he is compassionate but able to knowledgeably guide you through the divorce landscape.
There is no doubt that a Utah divorce attorney is going to cost you, but in the end it is money well spent. And if you and your spouse both hire an experienced divorce attorney, chances are you’ll both come out ahead in the end. Its an investment, but well worth it.
Do your research, look at various attorneys, go to their webpages, make sure the content reflects the attorney's knowledge on the subject. I recommend www.pearsonlawfirm.org, it has a lot of great information for people looking into divorce. But no matter where you end up, make sure you are comfortable with your attorney and that he is compassionate but able to knowledgeably guide you through the divorce landscape.
Play Nice
Remember the key to a “successful” divorce? If not look at the first paragraph, or keep reading…. Play nice! This means try and remain civil, and do not sabotage your spouse’s relationship with the kids. Of COURSE you want to throw your spouse under the bus, and it might feel great, but it hurts the kids. And I don’t know any loving parent that if the given the choice wouldn’t put their kids’ interests ahead of their own. Well you have that choice, and you need to make a conscious decision not to alienate your kids and your spouse. If you don’t, you’ll likely become a saboteur on some level, even if its subconsciously.
In the end, the more civil everyone is the more peaceful the divorce will be, which usually results in peace post-divorce, which is a benefit to everyone, especially any children.
Obviously there is a lot that goes into a divorce, and it is impossible to plan for every potential situation, but if you can do your best to prepare and approach the situation logically, you’ll be much better off in the end.
If you’re considering divorce or you’ve made the decision to divorce, call Pearson Law Firm and set up a free consultation with an experienced divorce attorney. Call today! 801-888-0991
In the end, the more civil everyone is the more peaceful the divorce will be, which usually results in peace post-divorce, which is a benefit to everyone, especially any children.
Obviously there is a lot that goes into a divorce, and it is impossible to plan for every potential situation, but if you can do your best to prepare and approach the situation logically, you’ll be much better off in the end.
If you’re considering divorce or you’ve made the decision to divorce, call Pearson Law Firm and set up a free consultation with an experienced divorce attorney. Call today! 801-888-0991
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